A short blog entry about the desire to belong. I have always felt like I don't fit in anywhere.
I was the square peg in the seemingly infinite sea of round holes. I wasn't popular in high school, I was painfully shy. My own father was my worst critic,and an elitest. I'm a disappointment to him and my brother is the pride. Our relationship is strained.
I am nowhere on his walls, my brother and his family everywhere. Even my brother's ex mistress is framed up in his house. I don't play the perfect Christian like my brother does, I am real and don't put on airs. Guess that's why I don't belong there.
I had an engagement, a live in with a metalhead, and a marriage. All failed. I don't apologize, it is what it is, or was.
Dad always put parts of my body down in front of relatives.I have forever have felt like I'm not good enough to belong anywhere. Now it's spilling out into other areas of my life.
I've had some serious issues to work on and I had to write that I do.
What to do? Go back to my therapist I guess.
Till next time...