The proverbial you-know-what

The proverbial you-know-what

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Christmas at dad's house

I hope a thunderbolt doesn't strike me down for this entry. I accompanied my sister-n-law, brother, an all 7 of their kids to my Dad's for a post Christmas get together. My Dad and I are not close, and my brother is his favorite child. I have accepted it. I mean what does a person do? My father is 79, and it seems like he is gonna live forever. He's probably healthier than I am. And just in case something were to happen I need to see him because he is my father. I love the man I knew as a small child. Someone who took me to sporting events and as Santa getting me cars as well as dolls for Christmas in the past.
  Dad worked as a metorologist for many years, doing the local weather reports on the radio as well. But he's conservative, and I know he wanted me to make him proud. But I took my own little personal detours, occasionally thinkng I was making him proud. But he was critical and hard to please, and I was always a seeking that approval.
  One thing I have learned is that I have to take my own journey. If I'm going to try and please others, I'll always be miserable. My brother made it as the favored child, he's a family man who gave him grandchildren, and is a cop. An honored profession.
  Oh, another thing about my father. He is proud of my brother at one time having a mistress. Her picture is in his house. Not a picture in sight of me. Sometimes I wonder if he has found out that I have been involved with women. Talk about scorn.
So I now accept that dad is who he is. At the risk of soundng like Yoda, I have by writing this, let go of my anger. More reflections to come.....

2 comments:

  1. Wow...your Dad is not seeing things straight! He's proud of your brother for having had a mistress? Crazy.

    Anyway, I've always been the favored child, but in my case it's been a double-edged sword. Seeking/needing approval, and yet hating the favoritism because of how it made the other siblings feel. Not too mention the pressure of continuing to be the favorite...never screwing up in order to keep that favored status. It sucked, let me tell you.

    Just a view from the other side...lol. Glad to see you making your own way regardless. That's what we have to do in this life.

    Love, A. :)

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  2. Thanks doll. My dad always was somewhat of an eliteist too. Plus if it were me having cheated, of course I would be the slut, lol. That ol' double standard thing.

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